The End of the Line

Nike+: 26.54 @ 4:06:23 (9:17/mile)
Official Results: 26.2 @ 4:05:57 (9:23/mile)
Overall Place: 674/1807
Gender Place: 542/1179
Division Place: 101/193
Weather: about 60 degrees and rainy
Gear: black/gold shorts, white/black phoenix shirt, St. Louis 1/2 Marathon Hat, orange/red colorful sock, carried 4 gels but only ate 3 gels (5, 10 and 16 miles)

Well, it has been about a week since the Big Show. We worried about rain and it did indeed rain the entire race. However, there were no blisters and the temperature was nice. I was very comfortable in shorts and a short-sleeve shirt.

There are probably a lot of things I could write about the race, but I guess the biggest surprise to me was the fact that I never really hit a wall. I started out clocking about a 10-minute mile on the first mile and gradually increased to eventually clock in at 1:59 at the half-marathon mark. This meant that I was on a sub-4 hour finish pace. However, somewhere around mile 14 or 15, I began to slow down. This was after taking 3 Advil at mile 14 when I ran past my former apartment on Forsyth/Big Bend Boulevard. It's weird to think that I lived there from 2003-2004 while working at MICDS. Exactly five years ago, I attended the Mankind Project this same time in 2004 (to honor this experience, I smudged Posscoon and Dark Horse in St. Louis the evening before we ran). It's been a productive 5 years - in more ways than one. In 2004-2005, I directed a college counseling program, in 2005-2008, I earned a graduate degree in photojournalism and authored a book, and by 2008-2009 I had a full-time job taking pictures. In terms of physical fitness, I chalked up three 1/2 marathons and a couple of weightlifting medals at the Show-Me State games in 2007. But probably the most important thing to happen to me was marrying Mary. The beat of her yamato drum keeps me grooving to a positive rhythm. All of my other accomplishments are more or less bullshit.

In the 18 weeks of formal training for the marathon, I only missed one workout - way back in the beginning during the week of Christmas when I was in Omaha. To make up for the missed day, I made up the mileage the same week on other runs. I ended up completing about 70 training runs and about 440 miles before the Big Show. This routine motivated me to finish strong. Because Dark Horse, Posscoon and I completed so many challenging runs on hills throughout Columbia, the terrain in St. Louis proved very manageable. I think all 3 of us would agree that there really weren't any hills at the actual race. Easley Hill, High Point Lane, Woodie Proctor, Old Plank Road, Route N, Providence, Stadium and Rollins got me ready. Yes, my knees and thighs hurt before the race, but I was confident that if my knees didn't buckle and that if my muscles didn't freeze, I'd be alright. My #1 goal was a sub-4 hour race. My #2 goal was a 4:10 race. My #3 goal was a 4:22. My #4 goal was to finish. I missed the mark on #1, but was very pleased with a time of 4 hours and 6 minutes. As I was coming up on mile 22 or so, I saw Dark Horse ahead of me. I caught up with him and we smiled as we continued to run side-by-side. We started training together at the Rec Center with a 3 miler and we ended up finishing together. For the last 4 miles, our collective energy kept the wheels rolling and we finished strong. I can remember when Dark Horse told me on the way to work in my truck that he wanted to run a marathon before his 30th birthday. I told him I was going to take on St. Louis. He was thinking about the Chicago marathon in October, but decided on St. Louis instead. Posscoon was thinking about the New York Marathon. He, too, decided to give St. Louis a shot. Part of our success is attributable to a trio of dedication, commitment and group liability. We ran along the lonesome valley individually, but supported each other by beginning almost all of our long Saturday or Sunday runs together. When absent from each other, we kept the lines of communication open by calling and texting.

There aren't a lot of things that I'm terribly proud of in my life, but training for a marathon is up there at the top of the list. I don't really know how important the race was, but the training proved quite meaningful to me. All 3 of us took it seriously and didn't shy away from going out and challenging ourselves in some rough conditions. We ran when it was cold, when it was windy, when it was snowing, and when it was dark. Running proved to offer many life lessons for me. Perhaps the most important was: "keep moving." Ever forward, never backward. No matter what, get my ass off the couch and get out and do what I committed to do. It's a weird thing to go out and run for the sake of running. I honor Dark Horse and Posscoon for joining me on this journey. i will miss our time together. As I continue to run, you both will remain in my mind and heart (and hopefully in my legs).

Dark Horse provided discipline. Posscoon kept things simple. In the end, all three of us proved an unbreakable link in the chain of finishing what we started. Never again will we run our first marathon. It was a special season for the Running Deer. He avoided the hunters, the wolves and the woes of humanhood. He expects to run another day.

I'd also like to give a shout-out to Mary and my Mom, who both finished the 1/2 marathon. They beat their previous times from last year and finished much higher in their respective age groups than me. Mary finished in the top 10% of her division (she even slowed down a little and ran with me from about mile 9 to mile 10 when we overlapped on the course) and my Mom finished in the top 21% of age group. I didn't even finish in the top 50% of males, 35-39. But on the plus side, I can be proud that I beat the average overall (men and women) marathon time and the average overall male marathon time. As my friend Christian once said, "The ultimate race is with oneself." I don't have any regrets.

To my blog followers, thank you for joining me on this marathon. I appreciate your support and honestly believe that your supportive thoughts kept me going. If you ever need my mental energy to get you to the finish line, you've got it.

Ever forward, never backward.

The Dye Has Been Cast

Nike+: 4.01 @ 34:28 (8:35/pace)
Gear: orange skull short-shorts, t-shirt
Weather: a little over 60 degrees
Ran this one by myself on the trail after work. My thighs hurt and so did my knees. Not sure why the pain is not going away. I think this will be my last run before Sunday.

Taper, Taper, Taper

Nike+: 3.02 @ 26:59 (8:55/mile)
Gear: black shorts, white t-shirt, neon cap
Weather: about 50 degrees
Ran this one with Posscoon after work on the MKT. Tried to keep things at a comfortable pace.

Last Long Run before Big Show

Clayton F. Smith Woods Preserve (Chicago, IL)
Saturday, April 11
Nike+: 8.09 @ 1:06:42 (8:14/mile)
Gear: tights, grey/yellow long-sleeve top, black ear band, ate a gel at mile 5
Weather: a little more than 40 degrees
It was a relief to leave BoCoMo for a couple of days and seek sanctuary in the Windy City. I went to Chicago with Mary to visit Yanni and see Alejandro Escovedo in concert. We drove 920 miles, but the trip was well worth it. It was one of the best shows I've ever seen. Alejandro entered the audience and sang with his heart on his sleeve. Really, really unbelievable.
This was my last "long" training run. Mary and I ran together for the first mile, before she made a trip to the outdoor facilities. The run was in a national forest preserve, just 3.3 miles from Yanni's house.
Despite the expected knee pain, I felt good and strong otherwise. I'm about as ready as I'm going to be for the Big Show. I've trained regularly and taken on some of the toughest routes in Columbia. It's now time to take it easy, do some short runs and rest.

Wow - only 3 miles

Thursday, April 9
Nike+: 3.01 @ 26:38 (8:50/mile)
Gear: tights, green long-sleeve shirt, neon cap
Weather: low 40s
After my book signing at the campus bookstore where nobody bought an Arrow Rock book, Mary and I went for a run in the rain. We started at the house and went north on Rothwell to Broadway where we ran into a strong head wind. We ran together until Rollins where I went back west and Mary kept going south (she was going 4 miles, but I was only going 3). The rain felt pretty good and I took things easy as I wondered throughout the neighborhood. Once I finished, I took Sly for a quick walk. Later, we watched The Office and ate take-out from Kostaki's. It was good.

6.5 Miler

Wednesday, April 8
Nike+: 6.49 @ 54:53 (8:27/mile)
Gear: black/yellow shorts, new white/black phoenix shirt
Weather: about 60 degrees
Ran this one with Posscoon after work and before I went to David Sedaris at Jesse Hall. Felt pretty good, but my knees are hurting.

Week 17, Tuesday

Tuesday, April 7
Nike+: 4.02 @ 32:38 (8:06/mile)
Gear: black shorts, white long-sleeve shirt
Weather: about 50 degrees
Ran this one with Posscoon after work. We jumped on the MKT from his house and took a little journey of the trail that hooks up with it (the same one we traced on Sunday's 12 miler). Nice run at a fairly brisk pace for me.

Last double-digit run before Big Show

Nike+: 12.04 @ 1:42:45 (8:31/mile)
Gear: tights, grey/yellow long-sleeve top, ear-band, H20 bottle, one gel at 6-mile mark
Weather: about 48 degrees (started running about 11:15)
Probably could have worn shorts on this one and maybe a short-sleeve shirt, but as I ran, I cooled down w/ the weather. Knees hurt toward the end, but that's just the way it is at this point. All in all, I had really good run. This was probably one of my faster long-distance paces, thus far.

4 on the Floor

Anytime Fitness
Treadmill: 4.00 @ 31.55 (7:59/mile)
Nike+: 4.01 @ 32:43 (8:09/mile)
It took my Nike watch a little longer to reach the 4.0 mark. I attribute this to a faster pace. I'm going with the treadmill's time of sub-8's on this one. I never thought I'd run this pace again. The training is paying off.

8 Miler before Dr. Drew

Nike+: 8.03 @ 1:09:08 (8:36/mile)
Gear: new black/gold shorts, white phoenix short-sleeve shirt, new sunglasses, H20 bottle
Weather: about 60 degrees
Left work a little early to run before Dr. Drew spoke at Jesse Hall.

5 Mile Recovery from Sunday

Nike+: 5.01 @ 41:55 (8:21/mile)
Gear: black shorts, new grey/yellow long sleeve top, neon green cap
Weather: about 45 degrees
Ran this one with Posscoon after work on trail.

20 Miler

Nike+: 20.5 @ 3:04:18 (8:59/mile)
Gear: new black/gold shorts, new grey/yellow long-sleeve top, carried H20 bottle, new sunglasses
Weather: about 45 degrees

About 1/5 of the Way There

Thursday, March 26
Nike+: 4.81 @ 41:30 (8:37/mile)
I used this run to calibrate my watch. The actual distance was 5.0 on the trail with a 41:30 time (8:18/mile).
Weather:about 55 degrees
Gear: black shorts, white t-shirt, ear band to keep hair back
Ran this one with Posscoon after work. I wanted to calibrate my watch so I reset it to the factory settings before we started. It ended up being about .20 miles under the actual distance on a 5.0 mile run.
It's time to rest for the longest run of my life this weekend.
Posscoon saw some deer on the north side of the trail after we finished. They're keeping an eye on me.

Over the Hills and Far Away

Wednesday, March 25
Nike+: 10.24 @ 1:32:49 (9:03/mile)
Maymyrun: 10.36 @ 1:32:49 (8:56/mile)
Weather:about 50 degrees. The weather was perfect for a 10-miler. I hope it's similar in St. Louis at the Big Show, but who knows.
Gear: new Brooks shorts, white/black phoenix wicking tee, 1/2 Marathon St. Louis hat, gel in back pocket which I ate at mile 7.
Ran this one w/ Posscoon after work.
We took it fairly easy on this one and kept things at my steady pace of about a 9-minute mile which isn't to say that I wasn't hurting b/c I was. My damn knees and thighs were feeling it pretty good. I stretched out good last nite, but woke up a few times with leg pain. I just need my knees to heal up and I'll be alright. Maybe 3 weeks of tapering will help solve the problem (after our pending 20-miler this weekend).
On a sidenote, I realized earlier this morning that today is my dad's birthday. He was born on March 26th and died in his mid-50s. We never saw each other after I turned 16 years old. I could say a lot of things about him, but today, on his day of birth, I'll say that he loved me.
I'm fortunate to have been raised by a strong woman who kept me on the righteous path. As I've said before, any good that I have to offer, comes from my mom. I'll assume liability for the bad.

Throw some Hills on It

Tuesday, March 24
Nike+: 5.17 @ 44:16 (8:33/mile)
Mapmyrun: 5.24 miles @ 44:16 (8:26/mile)
Weather: about 55 degrees
Gear: black shorts, 'Beer is Good for Body' t-shirt, 1/2 Marathon Hat

14 in Omaha at Lake Zorinsky

Saturday, March 21
Nike+: 14.01 @ 2:04:30 (8:53/mile)
When I mapped this route on mapmyrun, it came out to be 14.3 miles which would be about an 8:42/mile.
Weather: 65-70 degrees
Gear: just short shorts
Got sun burned on this one.

5 with Posscoon and Dark Horse (briefly)

Thursday, March 19
Nike+: 5.01 @ 44:15 (8:49/mile)
Weather: mid-50s to about 50 degrees
Gear: black shorts, black wife beater, St. Louis 1/2 Marathon hat
I lost my necklace on this run (the puzzle piece that I bought for Mary several years ago in St. Louis). Bummer.

9 on a Treadmill

Wednesday, March 18
Nike+: 9.0 @ 1:20:29 (8:56/mile)
Treadmill: 1:17:40 @ the 9.0 mile mark (8:38/mile)
The treadmill actually read about 9.3 miles but I kept running until my watch hit 9.0
I thought it was going to rain outside so I ran on the treadmill. After I finished, I weighed 166.4 lbs at the gym and 166.0 at home. This means I lost 10 pounds since the previous Tuesday when I ran with Dark Horse at the Rec Center on the track. This run was much for difficult than my previous 9-miler on the trail. I don't trust the treadmill.

5 Miles Before The Eagles

Tuesday, March 17, St. Patrick's Day
Nike+: 5.01 @ 44.38 (8:53/mile)
Weather: warm, between 75-80 degrees
Gear: just short shorts

18 and Ready for Battle

Saturday, March 14
Nike+: 18.35 @ 2:46:04 (9:03/mile)
Weather: 35 at the beginning and 45 at the end
Gear: Tights, black/red long-sleeve top, black head band, one glove on right hand for H20 bottle, new shoes
Started run about 8:45 in the morning. This was the most difficult run of my life. I ended up running just shy of 50 miles this week and my body felt it. Two words: pain and agony.

5 after 5

Thursday, March 12
Nike+: 5.00 @ 41:32 (8:17/mile)
Weather: little above 30 degrees
Gear: Tights, black long-sleeve top that Mary gave me, black wife-beater underneath, neon cap, gloves, OLD shoes
Ran this one with Posscoon. He attributes my presence to his thighs chapping. In his words, "You make my thighs wet." Ol' Posscoon didn't believe my watch, either. Mine read 5.0 while his read 5.3, which means we ran somewhere between a 7:47 and an 8:17 mile.
Hung out a little afterwards and looked at Annie Leibovitz's book, Women. That woman can shoot.
This weekend: 18 miler.

Tulsa Run...but in Columbia (15K)

Wednesday, March 11
Nike+: 9.01 @ 1:16:28 (8:28/mile)
Weather: about 30 degrees
Gear: Tights, black long sleeve top that Mary gave me, black wife-beater underneath, neon cap, gloves, new shoes, no H20 bottle
I still think my Nike+ system is slightly underestimating my distance, but I ran until it said 9 miles anyway (over ran the 1/2 markers to reach the required distance).
When I was a sophomore in high school, my wrestling coach, Mr. Wilke, made the team run the Tulsa Run. It was a 15K which is 9.3 miles. I don't remember my exact time, but I still own the booklet w/ my official results (my mom ran it, too) and I know I ran much faster on this run today. Kind of weird to go out after work and run 9 miles, but all in all, it felt pretty good. I was worried about heating up but eventually by body cooled off a little. The extra hour of daylight was great. I felt relatively strong on this run.

Round n' Round @ the Rec

Tuesday, March 10
Mizzou Rec Center
Nike+: 4.01 @ 32:33 (8:07/mile)
Gear: Shorts and black wife-beater
Weight: 176.0 (before run)
Ran this one w/ Dark Horse on the track at Rec Center (inside). Although the track is 1/6 mile, I ran an extra lap (25 in total) to reach 4.0 on my Nike+ watch. My pace was pretty good for an ol' man with a gut.

Windy, Hilly Motherf---er!

Sunday, March 8 (ran on Sunday instead of Saturday)
Nike+: 13.20 @ 2:00:18 (I think my new sensor is a little off. I outlined this run on mapmyrun.com and it read 13.29). This means I averaged about a 9:03/mile.
Weather: slightly under 50 degrees, but very, very windy (up to 30 MPH)
Gear: Black shorts, black/red long sleeve top, neon cap, new shoes, H20 bottle entire trip, no gels
This run was hilly as hell and out in no man's land w/ some serious wind. It was difficult, challenging and all of that...but not as bad as last time we went down down to Cooper's Landing.
After running 10 miles, we encountered some serious hills for the remaining 3. My pace was so slow on the last hill that I was basically walking. I removed my cap and made sure to make use of my water bottle. It wore me out, but I made it another day.

It's Getting Hot Out There

Thursday, March 5
Nike+: 5.03 @ 42:59 (8:32/mile)
MapMyRun: 5.17 @ 42:59 (8:19/mile)
Weather: between 65-70 degrees
Gear: short running shorts, no shirt

8 on Trail w/ Posscoon

Wednesday, March 4
Nike+: 8.15 @ 1:13:33 (9:01/mile)
MapMyRun: 8.39 @ 1:13:33 (8:46/mile)
Weather: between 50-55 degrees
Gear: Shorts, long-sleeve white shirt, neon cap, headlamp

Tuesday's Gone

Nike+: 3.91 @ 32:34 (8:18/mile) **I used this run to calibrate my NEW running shoes. This was actually a 4.0 mile run on the trail in 32:34 which would have been an 8:08/mile).**
Gear: Tights, black/red long-sleeve top, neon cap, no gloves
Weather: about 35 degrees

Sweet 16

Nike+: 16.32 @ 2:24:22 (8:50/mile)
Weather: 25 degrees (started run at 6:55 a.m.)
Gear: Tights, black wife-beater, black long-sleeve top, neon cap, gloves, H20 bottle from 6.0 to finish

Before the Storm and Ryan Adams

Ryan Adams and The Cardinals at the Missouri Theatre on Thursday, February 26th


Thursday, February 26th
Nike+: 4.01 @36:27 (9:04/mile)
Gear: Shorts, white short-sleeve shirt, **NEW shoes**
Weather: about 60 degrees
Although my Nike watch read 4.01 miles, I'm pretty sure I ran somewhere closer to 4.28. I wore my new Nike shoes and have not calibrated the new sensor. I think I ran close to an 8:30/mile pace.
This was a difficult run for me. My legs hurt pretty good and I found my breathing to be somewhat difficult, but at least I was out there. I ran with Dark Horse and followed his lead -he had a great line about how it's probably a good thing we didn't know each other back in the day. I think he may be on to something. But on the flip side, life is long. We still gotz some room for memories (maybe just not mammories).
After the run, I went home and walked Sly. About 1/2 way through the walk, the rain came down. We got soaked, but Sly didn't seem to mind. I wanted to make sure he stretched his legs before we left the house and went to see Ryan Adams at the Missouri Theatre.
Because we arrived at the concert an hour early, Mary, Dark Horse and I decided to go to Shakespeare's. There, I saw Mary Kay Blakely. It was great to see her. We invited her to the crib on Rothwell for dinner. She's still working on her book and expects to travel this summer - outside of the U.S. Maybe South America? She introduced me to her brother and told him about me reading her book during my honeymoon in St. Thomas.
Once Kristina showed up, we finished our business and went to the show. Ryan Adams compared the concert to an NPR experience. He's right. People sat in their chairs and nodded their heads. Kind of calm, but good nonetheless. Mary and I sat next to the sound guy and everything hit us in the chest. It was a good show. Sometimes there's nothing better than sitting in the dark and listening to music.
After Ryan finished (no encore), we went to Snapper's and met up with Jason, Kristina, Kevin Crowe and his girlfriend. We stayed until 11:45 and then went home. I was kind of tired this morning. I didn't eat much last night and my muscles are sore. I need to re-group.
Dark Horse and I ate Chipotle for lunch.
This weekend = 16 miler (and True/False Film Festival)
I also just found out that the Arrow Rock book is up for consideration in the PIctures of the Year International Book Award Category. We'll see what happens. I doubt it'll do anything.

8 is Enough

Nike+: 8.0 @ 1:09:30 (8:40/mile)
Gear: Black shorts, white short-sleeve shirt, headlamp, blinking wristband
Weather: about 60 degress at run time (5:35 p.m.)
Ran this one with Posscoon from his cavern. Dark Horse would have run with us but he had to meet Kristina at the Rec Center so he ran a different route. Posscoon took pity on me again and ran alongside the Running Deer - definitely slower than his normal pace. We actually ended up running all the way to Anytime Fitness on Scott Boulevard - kind of ironic that we ran to my gym and then turned around.
At about the 5 mile mark, the sun's light left us. We turned on our headlamps and kept moving. Had to dodge a pitbull on Chapel Hill and a couple cars on Stadium but we eventually made it to the sanctuary of the trail with only 1/2 mile to go. The temperature dropped as we ran but felt good. I finished with a little slower time than I thought I would but I'm not too worried about it - I'm definitely not 100%. My damn nose is running more than my legs. Need rest.
Check out the elevation on this run - it ain't no joke.

Post Illness Run on the Trail

Posscoon in Indiana (post-run)

Tuesday, February 24th
Nike+: 4.08 @ 34:21 (8:24/mile)
Gear: Tights, black/red long sleeve top, neon cap
Weather: lower to mid-40's
I intentionally over-dressed for this run because I haven't been feeling too well that past couple of days and I wanted to be sure and stay warm. I even took off of work on Monday and 1/2 day on Tuesday. I'm not sure what illness I suffer from but I sure as hell hope it's not similar to last year when I was basically sick for 6 weeks. I think I've got some serious allergy issues and running in the wind on Saturday for more than 2 hours probably didn't help. I basically stayed horizontal all day Sunday and Monday. Now I'm dealing with a sore throat, runny rose, aching body and the beginning of a cough. I have got to shake this shit and move forward.
Met up with Posscoon at his cavern after work and changed clothes there before hitting the trail for a 4-miler. We talked about our respective 15 mile runs. Ol' Posscoon ran 15 miles into the wind when he went to Indiana this past weekend - snow in his face and everything. He said he alternated putting his hand over his eyes the latter part of the run until he finished and his friends met him at a bar where a Vietnam Vet bought him a couple shots of whiskey.
Our 4-miler was pretty straight forward w/ not much to report, although Posscoon did have some serious chafing issues and had to run bow-legged for awhile.
We ran all 4 miles on the trail. Started at the point where Posscoon's neighborhood intersects the MKT and headed west until we hit Forum.
Felt good to stretch the legs.
After the run, I went to El Maguey on Broadway (across from Hy-Vee) to pick up some chicken fajitas to-go. The guy at the register asked me if I'm still running. I asked him how he knew that I was a runner. He said that he's seen me at a few runs - First Night 5K and the Columbia 1/2 Marathon. I told him that I was training for a full marathon in St. Louis. He said that he'd like to do the Heart of America this year. I told him he should do it - especially since it's the 50th anniversary of the run. Speaking of which, I was contacted by some members of the Columbia Track Club who want to use my photos from last year's Heart of America race in this year's brochure. The guy's name at El Maguey is Pepe. I told him I'd see him on da' streets.

Longest Run of My Life

Saturday, February 21st
Nike+: 15.20 @ 2:15:48 (8:55/mile)
Gear: Tights, black long-sleeve shirt, black wife-beater under long-sleeve shirt, gloves, neon cap, one Accel Gel, no H20 bottle
Weather: slightly below 30 degrees, wind chill about 17 degrees, very windy when running west (20-25 mph)
I was not looking forward to this run. I woke up on Saturday morning with a headache, so I took a couple Ibuprofen. Unfortunately, the medicine didn't immediately work. I also heard from my mom, via a text message, that the wind was biting. A headache, a biting wind and 15 miles of running do no necessarily make a good recipe. I was also a little concerned about how my legs would feel at the end of the day when I was scheduled to photograph a Mardi Gras party in downtown Columbia. After some procrastination, including 3 poops, I put on my gear and got ready to go.
I left the house and headed south. After about a mile or so, I really heated up. It was less than 30 degrees outside, but I felt like it was much warmer. This was the hottest part of the run for some reason. As I continued, I cooled down. Part of this was due to the wind that I would later face. But for the few miles, the wind wasn't really that noticeable. After about 3.5 miles, and the disappearance of my headache, I exited Stadium Blvd. and entered the MKT trail where I headed west. There was snow beneath my feet. I saw a few runners on the MKT and they were dressed in cold weather gear. After about a 1.5 miles on the trail, I arrived at the water fountain beneath Forum where I stopped to take a drink. I then exited the trail and headed south on Forum - this is a noticeable hill, but really didn't feel too bad. It was when I hit Nifong that things got interesting. This is where I found the wind waiting for me - hidden around a corner waiting to smack me in the face after I had about 6.5 miles under my belt. I said aloud, "Bring it on motherfucker." And Mother Nature did. She came at me pretty good for the next 2.5 miles while I worked my way west to Scott Blvd. Once I got back on the trail at Scott/MKT, I stopped at the water fountain, but only found hot water. I nonetheless took a few sips and even splashed some on my face. I don't know why it was hot. The next two miles, from 9 to 11, were all on the trail. At about mile 10, I started feeling pretty beat up. This is when I took an Accel Gel out of my pocket and spilled about 1/2 of it on the ground when I ripped it open. I squeezed the remaining amount into my mouth and stopped again at Forum/MKT to get some water and wash everything down. I then exited the trail and started north up Forum. I think the gel really helped my energy level for the rest of the run. For the most part, I felt pretty good.
At the bottom of Stadium, after facing wind from the west again, I hit the 13 mile mark - equal to my longest runs in the past. Not surprisingly, I faced about a 3/4 mile mile at this spot. Nothing worth anything comes easy when you're running. I remember thinking, "This is new territory. I've never run more than 13 miles. I feel good." I didn't really have any doubts that I'd make it. Two miles later, I ran north on Rothwell Drive land finished in front of the house at 15.20 miles. I was a little surprised to see that I averaged less than a 9-minute mile - especially since I stopped 3 times for water. There were also several serious hills on this route - gotz to keep it real.
One of the downsides to running this far is that it takes a toll on my body. I pretty much took things easy the rest of the day and stayed horizontal on the couch. I hope that as I keep doing these long runs that my body recovers more quickly.
This was a great run. I didn't really have any terrible moments. I heard later from Dark Horse that he survived his run, too. We were not literally together, but we were in spirit. Haven't heard from Posscoon, but I'm sure he was out there keeping us company.
When I went to the Mardi Gras party last night, I found out it was happening. Evidently the person who originally contacted me, didn't let me know that the event was cancelled. This was very disappointing. So I went home, watched some more tv, and spoke to my friend Christian, who lives in Philly. My throat began to hurt and when I woke up this morning, Sunday, my throat was quite sore. Not sure what's happening, but I'll probably take things real easy today. I did sleep well last night, so perhaps I just need to keep resting.
As I mentioned in the beginning, I didn't want to take on this run. My head hurt, the wind was blowing up to 25 MPH and I was going to be on my own. But sometimes I just have to show up. And that's what happened.

4 with Pookie Face

Thursday, February 19
Nike+: 4.15 @ 37:02 (8:54/mile)
Weather: about 25 degrees
Gear: Tights, black long-sleeve shirt, gloves, neon cap, headlamp
I was going to run this 4-miler at Anytime Fitness, but then on my way to the gym, I saw two dudes running up Stadium. I literally turned out of the left lane that would have led me to a treadmill and just kept going straight. If those guys were running outside, then I should too. One dude was even wearing shorts and not a hat - kind of stupid in 25 degree weather, but motivational nonetheless.
I asked Pookie-Face if she wanted to go with me and she agreed; we left from the house and ran to Chapel Hill and back. Usually Pookie-Face doesn't want to run w/ me, but she took a chance and ended up enjoying herself. We chit-chatted along the way and I got an ear-full about her day at work - kind of a good way for both of us to de-stress the day's events.
This was a good run with a nice, consistent pace in enjoyable weather (granted we were dressed for it). Got a little dark before we hit the half-way mark, but still wasn't too bad since I had on my headlamp.
Gotta do a 15-miler this weekend. My thighs hurt from the past three days but I'll be ready. Posscoon will be in Indiana and Dark Horse will be in Kansas City. It'll be the first time since the three of us starting doing long runs together that we'll be on our own. It'll also be the longest distance that each one of us has ever run. I'll be thinking about my brother warriors while I sojourn the lonesome valley.

Stepped on Treadmill at 10:00 PM

Nike+: 7.03 @ 59:40 (8:29/mile) - Anytime Fitness
Weight: 174.4 (before) and 171.8 (after)
Today, Wednesday, was busier than I would have liked. I've been busy posting pictures on the Mizzou Live Wire Blog for the past few days. It feels good to get my stuff out there, though. From the Beauty & the Beast event on Friday night, to basketball against Nebraska on Saturday to wrestling against Iowa State on Sunday, I'd say I had a good weekend of shooting.
Anyway, I decided to photograph Ishmael Beah and his mother Laura Simms tonight when they spoke at Jesse Hall at 7 p.m. Ishmael wrote a book called A Long Way Gone: Memoirs of a Boy Soldier and was adopted by a woman in New York after he survived the war in Sierra Leone. This is someone who killed people at the age of approximately 13 years old. His book has sold more than 600,000 copies - slightly more than the Arrow Rock book I worked on that has sold a few hundred copies. That was a joke. Before the venue began, I had an opportunity to meet Ishmael and his mom behind stage. There was talk that they might be interested in a formal portrait, but due to their busy schedule this week, an opportunity didn't surface. Ishmael was so tired on Friday that he went to his hotel to rest and even cancelled an event.
To be honest, I can't say I learned much from Ishmael's presentations. Perhaps this is because I was taking pictures and not actually actively listening. Ironically, I did hear him say that listening is just as important as speaking. Ishmael did not talk about being a boy soldier. Instead, he concentrated on the idea of 'storytelling.' If nothing else, I do believe that everyone has a story to tell. It's just a matter of telling it.
Because I didn't go home after work, but stayed to photograph Ishmael and Laura, I ran after their presentation. This meant that I stepped on the treadmill when the 10 o'clock news began. I started out relatively slow and sped up as I felt better. There were parts of this run when I just wanted to stop and go home. But I kept going and eventually finished at 11 o'clock.
It was a long day, but I'm glad I didn't postpone the run. After a hot shower, I slept well.
Between work and the presentation, I hung out with Posscoon and reviewed his photography portfolio. The dude is a very solid shooter with an eye for grit. It's funny that he wants to take pictures of clouds and rainbows. I think he's best when doing the opposite. But wtf do I know? I'm just glad he showed me his stuff. POY is the season and Posscoon is gold.

Propensity for Genius - I Bet that's What You Tell All the Guys

Nike+: 3.09 @ 24:45 (8:00/mile)
Weather: 45 degrees
Gear: Tights, black/red long-sleeve top, neon cap, headlamp (no gloves)
Ran this one after work today. Started on 5th/Elm, south on Providence, west on Stadium to bottom of hill and back.
Although this run wasn't too long, there were some hills to get things challenging. I finished huffing and puffing. Probably ran a little too fast on this one, but I just couldn't help myself. Or something like that.
Got a massage yesterday (Pookie Face's Valentine's Day treat) at Massage Envy for $39. The light was dim and the atmosphere was relaxing. Felt good to lie down and get rubbed.
The masseuse spent quite a bit of time on my neck/shoulders and my legs - she didn't even have time to get to my back. She said my legs were tight, but not too bad. She also said that I have a propensity for genius so I'm not real sure she knew what the hell she was talking about. Anyway, it felt pretty good. If I could afford it, I'd get massages after every single long run. But that's not going to happen. Kneeding the thighs is a good substitute.
Oh, I have to run 15 miles this weekend and the three stooges will not be running together. Not looking forward to it.

1/2 Way to St. Louie...It's All Uphill from Here

Saturday, February 14
Nike+: 10.03 @ 1:23:02 (8:16/mile)
Weather: somewhere between 25 and 30 degrees
Gear: Tights, black long-sleeve shirt that Mary gave me, wind-proof undies, neon cap and gloves (no H20 bottle or gels)

I picked up Dark Horse and met up with Posscoon at the MKT trail entrance off of Stadium (MLK Memorial) at 8:30 a.m. Although the temperature was below 30, we didn't seem to mind. I think we've built a tolerance to our surroundings - particularly after running around the Burr Oak when the wind chill was zero a few weeks ago.
I didn't really prepare myself with an appropriate meal on Friday night, but I did eat a PowerBar on Saturday morning. Mentally, I felt confident that I'd do well on this run. And I did. I maintained an 8:16/mile for 10 miles which is pretty good for me. I attribute the faster pace to training on hills for the past 9 weeks and taking things a little slower the previous week. The hills have developed stronger legs and a slower pace on previous mid-week runs has allowed me to heal-up. The trail is almost completely flat and I'm sure my body noticed a difference. I ran this same exact route on September 2, 2007 - a week before I competed in the Chicago Half-Marathon - and at that time it took me 1:27:34 (8:44/mile). And then when I ran the actual Chicago race a week later, my mile average dropped to a 9:35/mile. In my two later half-marathons my official race times ended up being faster than my training runs. Don't really know how it all works, but those are the facts.
While Posscoon was calibrating his gear at the 1-mile marker, I passed him and he caught up with me not too long thereafter. His upper right leg was hurting pretty bad and he considered stopping. But then he said, "What does not kill me, makes me stronger, right?" and he took off. I wished him luck - it ain't easy to run when you feel good, never mind being in pain. At about the half-way mark when Dark Horse and Posscoon were on their way back, I slapped their hands. As the anchor man, I kept the torch burning, although I have to admit that after taking off my gloves, my hands did get quite cold later in the run.
I tried to keep my mind positive on this run. I see running as my time to escape - and that brings freedom to think about whatever I want to. It makes sense to tune into as much bass frequency as possible and ignore all the treble-some pitches that distract me from the task at hand. Enjoy the run - it just doesn't make sense to bring along a lot of baggage to slow me down. Nonetheless, some days are better than others.
I finished strong on this run and felt tired, but not exhausted. After a few minutes of chit-chat, the three of us loaded up and left the parking lot. Our sweat was beginning to induce coldness.
After I arrived home, I ate a quick lunch and packed up my photo gear to go shoot the MU-Nebraska basketball game. My legs were a little sore as I sat on the court, but not too bad. Once I got back home, I laid on the couch for a couple of hours and took it easy.
It was Valentine's Day and Mary and I had a reservation at Sycamore. I ate steak and everything was good, but not great. I think my expectations were too high. It was good to go out with Pookie Face for a nice dinner, though. Later in the evening, we had a fire and smoked up the downstairs room pretty good. I think there's something wrong with our fireplace insert, but eventually things aired out and it was all good.
This marks the halfway point in training. Nine weeks down and nine weeks to go. We've all registered (Dark Horse - you've registered, right?) and we've all got hotel reservations. Will we all make it to the starting line? What's in store for us in the next two months of training? I've got some fears when I think about it, but for the most part, I feel pretty good about the whole deal. Thousands, or millions, have run marathons before me. It ain't that big of deal. But then again, it is my first one. I told Posscoon that life is long. He posed, "I thought it was short?" I think it's both. And one thing is for sure - I don't get a re-do. This is it. Will I have regrets at the end of my life-marathon? Yes I will. But I'm trying to keep those to a minimum. As I continue to follow and to run the path that's ahead of me I keep in mind my 11th grade AP English teacher's advice: "Do well."
The ultimate race is with myself. Balancing ego with what I really enjoy is my current mission. And to right my wrongs. It may sound stupid, but recently I've been considering the anthem, "Pay it forward." Or as my mom used to say, "What goes around, comes around."

Old Territory via New Route

Run on Thursday, February 12th
Nike+: 4.13 @ 36:09 (8:44/mile)
Gear: Shorts, long-sleeve white shirt, neon cap, headlamp and H2O bottle.
Ran this one w/ Posscoon after work. We met at his new cavern and after re-thinking the MKT and its probable slushy whereabouts (due to rain), Posscoon led me on a run thru campus. We started on the west side and ended up on the east side. Went up and down some hills, but nothing too major - touched Stadium/Ashland and came back. Even traversed by Posscoon's old abode where Ricky Volcano came to be. We chatted along the way and everything was good.
Upon finishing, we posed the questions: Should Posscoon have been a diving coach? Should Running Deer have kept on being a wrestling coach? We decided the answer was no. Ever forward, never backward.

Master (#2)

Ever Forward, Never Backward

Nike+: 7.18 @ 1:00:54 (8:28/mile)
Weather: about 40 degrees and felt like 30 (very rainy and windy earlier in the day)
Gear: Black tights, black long-sleeve shirt, neon hat, gloves, headlamp
Dark Horse and I met up at Posscoon's house after work. We wasn't there immediately, so we chilled with Tana and stretched out a little bit.
This run included several hills. I was most worried about Chapel Hill (going up to Fairview), but as Dark Horse noted, it was really the other side of Chapel Hill (going back east) that kicked our asses. It was cool to see my buds going down Chapel Hill when I was going up - we cheered for each other and slapped hands. But they're still bastards.
I felt like I took a step forward, so to speak, on this run. Despite the tightness in my thighs, the cramps in my stomach and the other treble frequencies running through my mental membrane, I felt real good on this run. It was like my legs were on auto-pilot. Going down Stadium (east), I hit a groove. Sure, I had a cramp somewhere in my upper torso, but it didn't really phase me. This is when running reminds me of life. It's just a matter of time before things get better - I don't even have to try real hard to make it so. No need to struggle, resist or fight. Just keep going. Uncomfortable runs will no doubt follow, but that's what makes this shit worth doing.
Sometimes when I'm running, my mind reminds me of past failures. It's like a part of me is saying, "You're not good enough to do this. Don't ever forget that deep down you're really a quitter, a cheater, a failure." To be honest, these are difficult thoughts to shake. Why do I concentrate on my weaknesses? I try to remember the deer. Ever forward, never backward.
On this topic, a wise friend of mine recently wrote:
"Running became a respite for me. A retreat from the world of my everydays. 8-5 I was a zombie, but at 5 I became a runner; zipping past others on the trail and it felt good. It was my own special place where I could let my brain wander and think about all the things that nagged at me. Where I found my chi. My zen. My home. Out there on the trail.
I've never looked back. I run better now than I ever did in high school. Mostly because I have self-confidence. I know I'm not the best runner, but I run as hard as I can anyway. I have goals that I might never attain, but I might someday. That's not why I run though.
When I go out running I get to fight that internal battle that most people give up on themselves every day; the battle between my ears. I see so many people quit on themselves because of this reason or because of that reason. It's easier that way. But last Saturday is the only evidence you'll ever need that quitting is easy and easy is worthless. Fighting is hard and it's the hard things in life that make life worth living. It's such a damn cliche but it's a reason it's repeated to the point of exhaustion. It's because it's fucking true.
I run because it's one of the few things in my life I have control over. I get to decide when I stop. I get to decide whether I stop at the top of that hill or after mile 6, 7, 8, 12. I decide how hard I push myself. No one else.
And of course, running is the ultimate metaphor for life's journey. In the past few years, through running, I have overcome many of my internal barriers. I haven't beaten them all down but I've started. I've found that the biggest battle you'll ever fight is just getting to the starting line. Just beginning is the hard part, because once I've started, how could I ever give up on myself?
So my running mirrors my life. I struggle up hills and I glide down them. I pass by things like the river of time. When we ran past the Burr Oak all I could think about was how timeless it was and how transient it makes us all seem. We're all just passing through this world, experiencing everything as we move by. The moment we start looking backwards or trying to freeze a moment we stop living. To live is to move. To keep moving. So I run, to keep moving, to keep living.
All the battles, all the triumphs, the lost time, the regrets, the goals, the sweat, the tears, the adrenaline. Every time I lace them up. I run to live."
I got to see Pookie Face when I was going south on Forum today. She was driving home (north) and honked. She said later that she liked my new neon hat. Pookie Face will always inspire the best I have to offer. She's the best thing in my life.

Running Deer Meets Standing Deer

Nike+: 3.06 @ 27:57 (9:07/mile)
Weather: about mid-60s (high was in the 70s today)
Gear: Wore short shorts, a white running shirt and my 1/2 marathon hat. After the chafing issues w/ my water bottle belt on Saturday's run, I bought a bottle to carry with me in my hand. It has a strap and holds about 22 ounces. Worked out nicely.

Ran this one with Posscoon after work. We met at his crib and walked down to the MKT where we headed west. But before we got started, we paused near the water where we found several deer waiting for us. At about the half-way point of my marathon training (week 9), the deer were there to remind me of something. The air was cool and the light was fading. They whispered, "Ever forward, never backward." And in an instant, they were gone.

A Runner and a Wrestler

This is the lower right side of my back. I guess I should have worn a shirt to protect my skin from my water bottle holder. Lesson learned.
Nike+: 12.69 @ 1:53:12 (8:54/mile)
Weather: about 60 degrees

Saturday morning, Dark Horse, Posscoon and I got things going about 9:30 a.m. As anticipated, we re-traced the Columbia Half-Marathon Challenge. My watch indicated that I ran about .24 miles short of the last time I ran this route, but I'm not sure why. I ran the exact same course. I'm going to assume that my pedometer was wrong - perhaps the mud on the Hinkson trail messed things up. With a 1:53:12 time, I beat my previous half-marathon time by a few seconds. Considering that I had no intention to do so, I was quite pleased. I was just running.

I wore the same outfit as last time - orange shorts with skulls, no shirt and my St. Louis 1/2 Marathon hat. Unlike other runs, I took a bottle of water with me in a waist belt. This was both a good and bad thing. The upshot was that I kept somewhat hydrated. The downside was that the belt served as a constant annoyance and rubbed my skin raw. Throughout most of the run, the belt pulled on my gut. I am going to have to come up with a better option/solution. Perhaps I'll carry a bottle, with a strap, in my hand next time.

I'd have to say that I wasn't really looking forward to this run today. My upper legs were especially tight but cardo-wise, I felt alright. At mile number 7, at the top of Old 63, I drank water for the first time and poured it on my head and upper torso. I took another drink and douse later in the run, but I don't remember exactly when I did so.

After the run, as mentioned, I felt pretty good. This was the fourth time in my life that I have run a half-marathon and the best that I've felt after doing so. I was fairly energetic for the next few hours and even took Sly on a walk for more than a mile. Soon thereafter, I crashed on the couch with Mary while watching Goldfinger and slept for about 2 hours. When Abby called and asked me to help her move her coffee table, I somehow managed the energy to do so. Mary and I were quite grateful for her offer to take us to dinner at Hu-Hot.



Yesterday, Mary and I went to see The Wrestler. It was quite good, but also disturbing. The lead role, Randy "The Ram" Robinson, reminded me of my dad. He's a tragic character who elicits both sadness and anger from those near him. A self-induced martyr who brings out the worst in himself, and consequently, feels the consequences - loneliness. When The Ram apologized to his daughter and asked her not to hate him, I couldn't help but think of my dad and similar conversations. A child can be forgiving of a parent, but not forever. Despite his intentions, The Ram's fuck-ups severed a relationship with his daughter. The same can be said of my dad, too. I think they both held low opinions of themselves and sought physical and emotional pain to further the cause. Randy used wrestling as an outlet - getting beat on, stapled with a staple gun, thrown into barb wire, hit with glass and metal objects - all to paradoxically bring comfort to his sense of being and self-loathing. But I can't say I'm indifferent to these types. I will always feel something, whether sympathy or rage, when my dad crosses my mind. The Ram said that he belonged in the ring and that the 'real world' is where he really got hurt. He also said that he was lonely and that he deserved to be so. I believe all of it. The Ram wanted to be a good dad, but he didn't think he deserved to be loved and he made sure his daughter wouldn't trust him. It's a tragic story for all involved.

I'm not exactly sure where my anger originates, but I know that I hold a lot of it. The trick is letting go and not allowing shit to continue to roll downhill. Seen?

When I'm out there running and I'm bored out of my mind, I just keep putting one foot in front of another. There is always a finish line. I'll see you there.

It's Light Outside. That's Strange.

Running Deer and Posscoon (he just got hitched)

Nike+: 3.04 @ 25:32 (8:22/mile)
Weather: about 50 degrees
Because the weather was so nice, I ran with Posscoon - outside stylie. We tried to recruit Dark Horse but he gave us some shit about how he loves the inside track at the Rec. Or was it something about a whip with a female on the end of it? I can't remember.
Anyway, Posscoon and I started running from his driveway. About 1/4 later, we jumped on the MKT trail and headed west. I was curious about how my Nike+ system would work on the trail. Fortunately, it worked perfectly and seems to be calibrated just right. This is good news b/c it means that I'm running about the exact distance that my watch reads.
This was a good run and everything felt to be in working order. We even had daylight.
Nic and I chatted most of the way. He took pity on me and kept things at my pace.
Tomorrow is Saturday which means we have a long run. The upside = nice weather. The downside = 1/2 marathon. We're going to re-trace the Columbia Half-Marathon that all 3 of us have run in the past. I am thinking about taking things a little slower and trying to mimic my goal marathon pace, but we'll just have to see what happens.

Why Run?

Anytime Fitness - treadmill
Nike+: 6.01 @ 52:50 (8:46/mile)
Weight: 173.8 (before) - 170.8 (after)
I intended to run outside today, but b/c I didn't leave work until 6 p.m., I decided to run on the treadmill. I just wasn't up for a cold run in the dark, I guess.
I really don't believe that treadmills are an accurate measure of my effort. I think it's far easier to run outside but I'm not sure why. Although I ran an 8:46/mile, I felt like I was running much faster (I did, in fact, speed up as the run progressed).
As I ran, I imagined myself on the 6-miler that starts at Forum/MKT and continues to Stadium, Providence, Green Meadows and then Forum. Not sure if the imagery helped, but it gave me something to think about.
Training at this point is starting to get a little annoying and a little boring. It's weird to be out there running (whether on a treadmill or the MKT or the streets). It's just me and my thoughts. Running and running and running. I really honor those who do this kind of thing all the time - habitual marathoners. It's not easy or even fun. I wonder why people do it? Maybe I'll try to come up w/ an answer during my next few runs.

Kicking It - Inside Stylie

Nike+: 3.00 @ 25:30 (8:30/mile)
Ran on treadmill at Anytime Fitness. Started out nice and easy at about a 9:30/mile and kicked things up for the last two-thirds, especially the last 1.5 miles.

Easley Peasley

Dark Horse, Posscoon and Running Deer (post-run)


Note the sign on the right and its notation of the pending decline (or incline in our case). Welcome to Easley Hill.


Big Muddy - the beginning and the end. The alpha and the omega.


This picture was taken soon after I finished. I drank the contents of that yellow bottle quickly.


I wish I would have had a motorcycle, too.


Nike+: 12.24 miles @ 1:52:36 (9:10/mile)
Weather: about 50 degrees
Gear: I wore shorts and my black/red long sleeve top and my St.Louis 1/2 Marathon hat. I didn't remove any gear.

There are a lot of things I could write about this run. We started at Cooper's Landing and after a mile on the trail, in sight of the Big Muddy directly to our right, we meandered north up Easley Hill. We encountered a variety of farm animals, not excluding loose dogs on our heels. The smell of cow chips evidenced our arrival and 12-mile journey throughout rural Missouri. Somewhere along the line, I even managed to get lost and at the 12.24 mark on my Nike+ odometer, I stopped to walk the remaining distance (we only intended to run 12 miles). But none of those things will remain in our memory banks as long as the hills. The uphill battles were more than any of us expected and toward the end, my mood vacillated from humor to anger. We drank no water until the end.

Much thanks to Jason and Nic for waiting on me to finish and sharing their food. I deeply appreciate your patience.

In the words of Dark Horse, today's run was the "Hardest and most rewarding physical experience of my life today."

I don't know if I can say the same, but at the moment, I can't think of anything to top it.

I Run...

B-52 Baby, Way Up In The Sky!!!
Wildflower and Peacedog in Kansas City before a performance by one of our favorite bands. This was about the time that I left Columbia and took a job in Houston.

The following poem was written by my good friend and cousin Troy Paul Rickertsen. Ol' Wildflower stood by me when I got married in Rocheport last year. He's a poet. And a runner.

"Have you ever heard someone say... 'Why in the world would you run, unless you were being chased?'. Well, it's taken me the better part of two decades to understand why I am drawn to running. This touches a few of the reasons...

I run mostly for joy
I run to escape
I run to connect
I run to embrace my fears
I run for pleasure beyond pain
I run to seek answers
I run because this is the time
I run for obedience
I run out of honor
I run for speed
I run to feel high
I run through the lows
I run to test my limits
I run to learn of the human spirit
I run out of fascination
I run for others who can't
I run for some peace
I run to understand the gift
I run to say thanks
I run to remember the cost of His love

While there's time, share the lifewalk."

Blood & Sweat but No Tears

I'm not exactly sure what caused the outside area of my right ankle (pictured sock is inside out) to bleed, but I think it was the pant-leg zipper on my tights.

Nike+: 3.07 @ 25:16 (8:13/mile)
Weather: about 35 degrees
This was a nice run from the house and along Broadway to Fairview. It was great to start while the streets were still naturally lit. When I was returning, and heading west on Broadway, I could see the sun's rays still alive in the distance. There were many colors to be seen. Yellow, round headlights, green, red and yellow stoplights, red neon from Hy-Vee's sign. But the most impressive sight was the remaining residue of what was once the sun. It was gone, but still there. A reminder of its ability to keep shining, despite an inevitable evening of darkness to come. The sun gave up slowly, but with grace. Diffused red, orange, yellow and then matted black. Any pain I felt on this run, and there was some, reminded me that I'm alive and running toward, not away, from an inviting fire.
Here's the alternative:

Inside the abandoned Roosevelt Warehouse in Detroit, a body lies frozen in a block of ice. (Max Ortiz / The Detroit News)

Slipping and Sliding

I bought this album (tape version) with my buddy Troy at Wal-Mart in Moberly when I was in high school. Read on for its significance on this run.

Nike+: 6.27 @ 52:53 (8:26/mile)
Weather: somewhere between 20-22 degrees
This run felt good. Didn't really know what to do when I arrived home since I was looking at another dark trip. Treadmill or outside? There was snow and ice on the edges of the road, but I decided to say f-it and go out into the tundra. I wore tights, the black Zoot shirt, hat, gloves, headlamp and wristband.
Things were quite cold in the beginning, but after a quarter of a mile or so, I warmed up. My face was cold but eventually it got the idea. To help my sense of place and space, I turned down the volume on my iPod. I felt like I wanted to hear what was going on around me - especially since I ran along Stadium for so long.
To my surprise, I saw another runner at about my 4-mile mark along Stadium when I was headed up to Rollins. He was wearing black and no gear to light him up. Quite dangerous in my opinion, but if you're going to die, getting hit by a car is probably a quick and good way to go.
The most dangerous part of the route was running up Stadium to Forum. There was snow and ice under my feet and I did a little slipping and sliding. In some instances, I neared traffic to avoid the mush. It all worked out.
I steadied my pace for most of this journey - kept things under control and didn't push too hard. Really felt good.
On the last 1/2 mile or so, U2 came on my iPod. They played my favorite song from the old days and I couldn't remember the name of it. Does this mean I'm losing my mind? Ok, let me think....I refuse to google it. It'll come to me. And when it does, I'll write its name on this blog.
Bad
"I'm wide awake. I'm not sleeping...."
I just needed to put my mind to it I guess. That was for you, Po.

Six Weeks Down, Twelve Weeks To Go

Running Deer and Yanni (3-time marathoner)

Nike+: 3.01 miles @ 27:08 (9:00/mile)
Due to the snow and ice, I decided to run on the treadmill at Anytime Fitness. I took it real easy on the first mile and eased my way into things. I started at about a 10-minute mile and slowly sped up to finish in 27 minutes. I have no idea what pace I should train at to run a marathon. Although it's obvious, the slower I run, generally the better I feel. I think I'll slow things down in expectation of the long runs to come on Saturdays. On the longest training run so far, I averaged about an 8:30/mile but have no idea what to expect for a marathon. The real goal is arriving at the starting line in good shape and making it to the finish line.
This morning I walked Sly at about 6:45 am and there was untouched snow on the ground. The sky was dark and the atmosphere was quiet. It was quite nice.
Spoke with Yanni tonight. He's run 3 marathons - all in Chicago. Maybe we'll run one together someday.

Mighty Burr Oak, McBaine, Missouri

Because it was so cold, the sweat that dripped from my hair onto my shirt froze.

We ate at Lucy's (in McBaine) where the food was not healthy, but the atmosphere was pure medication for the country soul. Where else could you find an American flag with John Wayne's face on it? After a 7-mile run, Mary drank a Jack and Coke (my grandmother's favorite drink).

Nike+: 7.19 miles @ 58:18 (8:05/mile)
Let's start with the weather. At 10:30 am, it was about 15 degrees, but felt like zero. I wore two layers up top - my white long sleeve shirt and the black long sleeve shirt that Mary gave me for Christmas. Down below I wore my black tights, a pair of shorts on top of them and a pair of sports underwear underneath them. I also wore my black hat and gloves and listened to my iPod. I started out somewhat cold, but not too long into the run, I warmed up and unzipped my black shirt to cool off. I also removed my gloves at about the 6 mile mark and stuffed them into my tights.
Nic, Jason, Mary, Cat (a newcomer) and I met at the MKT/Scott Blvd parking lot and carpooled to McBaine in Mary's car. Cat is the only one of us who has run a marathon. She did so in San Francisco and plans to run another one in St. Louis as part of the Team in Training program.
After a difficult week, I ended on a high note. This turned out to be a great run. The sun was shining and the landscape was beautiful. It felt good to get out of Columbia and experience a variety of senses.
We ran two loops around the Burr Oak tree. It was fun to watch Jason and Nic ahead of me as they separated from the pack. Because there was so much openness and the entire trip was flat, I could see all around me. And it felt good.
Probably because I ran faster than I should have, I struggled to speed up at the end. I think my lungs were tired.
After we finished and stretched, we drove to the mighty Burr Oak and took a few pictures. We all felt pretty good and ventured to Lucy's for some lunch. It took awhile to warm up, but we were entertained with country music on the jukebox and a colorful waiter who treated us with some small-town hospitality. And my cheeseburger was quite tasty.
It was a nice way to spend the morning and early afternoon.

Heat Wave - 50 degrees at run time, January 22nd

Nike+: 3.12 @ 25:25 (8:07/mile)
After several days of cold weather, it was nice to get out there and only wear a t-shirt up top. Down below, I wore my black tights. The trip was a little cooler than I expected, but still not too bad.
I started at my normal spot (next to the office) and headed southwest - just followed the trail for about 1.54 miles and made a u-turn. When I ran under the tunnels at the end, I couldn't see where my feet were landing. It was blind faith that got me through there.
Saw several people on the trail - even a large group going the other way.
Students are now back on campus and everything is much busier. I appreciate the energy but also find it distracting. Gotz to focus.
At the end of this run, I was ready to stop and catch my breath. My lower legs definitely hurt so I stretched out a little bit.
Tomorrow is Saturday and I plan to run with Posscoon and Dark Horse at 10 am. It's going to be about 15 degrees with a zero windchill.
We've all had less than a stellar week and are looking for some inspiration. We're headed west to a river where a mighty oak both whispers and shouts its presence, "I am here. Hear me roar!"

If the treadmills are occupied, go run outside

Nike+: 5.03 miles @ 42:54 (8:31/mile)
I decided to go to Anytime Fitness and run on a treadmill. However, they were all full. I did a few sets on bench press to kill some time, but nobody got off a treadmill. So, I put my cold-weather gear on and went for a 5-miler. Nothing like paying for a gym membership and not being able to use its facilities. Are these New Year's resolution folks? Almost two years ago I joined Anytime Fitness at this same time of year. I was a New Year's resolution person, too.
On my run, I re-traced the steps of Sly's walking route when we used to live on Kendallwood. It's about 2.5 miles, so I ran it twice. I felt like I was running somewhat fast, but was somewhat surprised at the end to discover that I ran slower than yesterday. I wasn't too bothered, though. I was just glad that I got out there.
This is the 6th week of marathon training. I'm getting tired of running in the dark and the cold, but that's just how it is right now. Gotz to keep going.
It's been an exceptionally negative two days. I have been attracting treble frequencies at almost every turn. I need to change my alignment and get back on track. Catch a fire.

Running Deer and Headlights

Nike+: 4.57 miles @ 38:07 (8:19/mile)
I started this run about 6:50 p.m. after finishing up with some stuff at the office. The temperature was approximately 20 degrees. I wore black tights, a black wife-beater, my black/red top, my black hat, my black gloves, my headlamp and my blinking wristband.
To be honest, I was not in the mood to run or do much of anything tonight. But that's where commitment enters the picture I guess - doing something even when I don't want to do it. I can't say this is a particularly strong trait of mine, but I'm taking it one day at a time. Putting one foot in front of the other.
Yesterday was Martin Luther King Jr. Day and today Barack Obama took the presidential oath of office. Even though I voted for Obama, I didn't think he'd win. I simply didn't believe that Americans would elect a black man to the presidency of the United States at this point in history. It's a good thing I was wrong. I'm not sure how much Obama's tenure will effect me, but I have to hope that his administration will positively benefit many of those who Bush failed to serve. Can't say I care too much about politics, but I'm not apathetic either. I had the opportunity to photograph the 44th president and stand right in front of him w/o any other photographers in the room. Before doing so, I felt quite privileged. Afterward, I felt miserable. Yes, Obama looked directly into my camera, but there was no real interaction. The event was staged. Perhaps I'm just ungrateful. I really do wish I could feel better about myself, and the world, in these types of situations. What's the ideal situation for me to photograph? I really don't know. I used to think that being a photographer would be the best thing in the world for me - the realization of a dream. But, I'm really no different than when I came to MU to study. I do a real good job of second-guessing myself and wishing that I could do better. I'm not sure what my problem is, but it's always been there - a thorn in my side. At 36 years of age, I feel about as comfortable in my skin as I did at the age of 18. Have I made the most of the opportunities to come my way? In a word, no. I am a wonderer. An unfocused soul. A man on the run.
When I walked out of my office tonight, the air was cold and the sky was dark, but I knew I'd warm up. Is this a metaphor for life? Will I make it through the cold? To the top of the next hill? Or will those oncoming headlights get the best of me? There's a thin, invisible line between them and me. But if I keep my head up and my feet moving, I'll get to where I'm supposed to be. I can't control those around me.
I watched Slumdog Millionaire yesterday at the Ragtag Theatre. It's a great film about a have-not in India making it onto Who Wants to be a Millionaire? and winning the jackpot. Each question and answer solicites a flashback from the protagonist's life of child abuse, poverty and destitution. I posted a note on Facebook about the fact that I had seen it and within a day, a couple of people responded with criticism about the movie. I didn't ask for their opinions but they nonetheless offered them. I wonder where this negatively originates? Are people projecting their own failures? Am I not allowed to enjoy something w/o some shithead offering his/her 2 cent, half-ass observation? This is a learning lesson for me.
The more I write tonight, the more frustration I feel. Perhaps this is a good place to end.

Post 10-Miler Summary

I ran somewhere between 10.2 and 10.5 miles yesterday. I intended to meet Jason and Nic at 1 p.m., but due to a hold-up on my end, we postponed the Saturday run until 2 p.m. I wore the black top that Mary gave me and black tights. No hat or gloves. The temperature was about 45 degrees and felt like about 35. Although we didn't notice the wind on the first few miles, it hit us hard and heavy when we turned north on Providence after leaving Green Meadows.
I warmed up quickly on this run - particularly when I hit the Forum hill and trudged upward. I thought seriously about removing my top, but when I hit the Providence pavement at about the 4 mile mark, I changed my mind. The wind cooled me down - considerably. I zipped up my top to keep warm. Along the way, I passed traffic leaving from Mizzou Arena and the basketball game. I moved faster than traffic.
As I came down the Providence hill, I could see Jason and Nic ahead of me. When I reached the bottom, they were running underneath the MU overpass at the top of the hill. I never saw them ahead of me again.
In front of Schnuck's, a guy in a SUV almost pulled in front of me because the driver didn't look to the right before pulling out to make a right. I raised my arms to the side and yelled something that probably included an expletive. I found out later that Nic experienced the same situation in front of Wilson's at about the 2-mile mark. Nic banged on the car's hood.
When I entered the MKT at mile 8, I was low on energy and decided to try the goo pack that Jason gave me. I believe it was made by Cliff Bar. I have never eaten one of these before. It was extremely dense and gooey. I had a difficult time getting it down. I held on to the pack for the rest of the run - about 2 miles - and took little swallows as I finished up.
As I reached the finish line, Jason and Nic awaited my arrival. I slapped both of their hands before stopping at about 1:29. They finished about 10 minutes ahead of me. My Nike+ watch read 10.45 miles which would mean I ran about an 8:32/mile. I am quite pleased w/ my time.
Cardio-wise, I felt pretty good, but my legs definitely hurt. I was glad to stop and rest. This proved to be one of my most challenging runs thus far. Jason said it was one of his best. I couldn't say the same, but am hoping the next long one is a little more comfortable.
After coming home and stretching, I laid on the floor for about 30 minutes. I was tired. I then took a long, hot shower.
Mary and I joined Nic and Tana at Jason and Kristina's house for dinner. They made beef kabob's that were quite tasty. Many ounces of goodness were consumed.
We left at about 1 a.m. and called it a day. It was a very enjoyable afternoon and evening with good friends.